With the support and strength of Phynyx Ministries, I am able to walk in the encouragement of breaking the silence because “there is life after the silence.” In that, I was able to tap deeper and go further into poetry writings by expressing to others that healing and forgiveness will manifest when you open up mouths and share your experience(s).Blanche Renee Jackson
Phynyx Ministries has provided me a safe place where I could open up and share my story with women who share my same experience. They helped me realize that though my past experiences may have not been normal, they have made me a sound and strong woman who is blessed and loves The Lord–the one who created us in His image.Sammie Adams
When I was around 7 or 8 years old, I would visit with my grandma and there was a “neighborhood boy” that would come over alot. I noticed he would always come during my nap time. The house was set up in a way that you would need to go through the bedroom to get to the bathroom. The kitchen was downstairs in the basement of the home which is where my grandmother stayed during the day. While I was napping, he would come into the room and take me to the bathroom with him. While there, he would touch me and have me touch him and sometimes give him oral sex. I felt sort of grown up because he made special trips to the house to get me, but I just didn’t like it. So, I started trying to escape to my other grandparents house, and when I couldn’t, I can remember making myself throw up to avoid being secluded or alone where he could abuse me again.
My grandmother passed away shortly after I started becoming so anxious while visiting her house, BUT my parents were still friends with the family of “the boy”. One time we went to his family members house where most of the time the kids would be placed in a room while the grown ups did whatever it was they did. I was the only kid there, and remember being in someone’s room watching TV and I HEARD HIS VOICE!!! I can clearly remember the terror I felt as I quickly ran downstairs to sit with my parents!!!
That was the last I had ever seen or heard from him again and for years I never thought about it or how it related my promiscuity. I never connected my sexual abuse to the perception that I created that says that a man loves you if he has sex with you. I treated sex like it was the only quality in a relationship, and after it there was nothing. No love, support, trust, conversation, or quality time together. Needless to say I have suffered for years because I never understood how to build relationships.
Phynyx Ministries has placed me in the company of overcomers who exhibit the other side of the the grass–the green side. These Ladies are the power that God speaks into everyone who feels they can’t get through. This group is tangible, spiritual, surviving proof that God will be a lifter of our head!
I would encourage people to own their pain. That is the only way to free yourself from it. If you ignore the pain, it reproduces itself in different ways which causes life begins to look differently. You will miss the joys of life if you can’t embrace the pain of life so that you can rise above it. #RiseAndSoar
“I Am a Survivor”
At the age of 9, I was raped while I was walking home from school with my little brother. It took place in a back yard in broad daylight. I was violated while …my 5 year old brother watched. The man said that if I screamed, he would kill my brother with the pair of scissors he had in his hand. Therefore, I held my peace in pain that my brother’s life would be sustained.
When I came home, my mother and her friends saw my attacker’s semen on my school uniform. Without any questions asked, I was immediately accused of being “fast” or promiscuous and my mother punished me. My little brother was too traumatized to say anything. A few weeks later my mother and I talked about what happened that day, and when I told her what happened, she realized that I had been violated twice in a matter of moments——- once by my attacker, and once by the woman responsible for loving and protecting me at all costs.
Today, I am 51 years old, I did not only survive this criminal act imposed upon me by another person. I have just survived in the last 6 months, a period of real life issues, that if not confronted could cause a cycle of bad choices. Ranging from surrendering to the Will of God for my life, relationship issues, parenting issues, and accepting a life shift in my career. Therefore, this day I humbly thank God for loving me enough not to allow me to stay stagnant in a pattern of bad choices. But God has graced me with the insight and ability to realize that all which was appearing as opposition in my life, was an opportunity for me now to flow in my God given instincts to rise above my pain.
As you read my process of survival, what are you trying to survive? The first ignition to survive whatever you may be facing is to seek God for His guidance. Which will be the truth to set you free and the empowerment for you to rise above your pain. You will survive, keep your faith in God and let Him be your guide. #Beautiful #RiseAndSoar #Survivor